Before the U.S.A. played Finland in the semifinals of the Olympics, TheBigLead.com said this: “Only one team stands between the United States and the Gold Medal game. That team is Finland and they just happen to be lead by the hottest goalie in the Olympics, Miikka Kiprusoff.” Finland wanted him to play and asked him to join the national team. He said he would, but ONLY if they guaranteed him that he would start as goalie and not play backup. Good choice.
Well Mikka can suck it. ESPN said, “Barely two minutes into the game, Finnish goalie Mikka Kiprusoff was staring at the ceiling in disbelief. It turns out he was just getting started.”
The United States scored 6 goals in about 13 minutes. And when Mikka found himself and his team behind 6-0 halfway through the first period, I actually felt a little sorry for that dude. But then I threw my drink in my own face, punched myself, stood on my chair, pulled my shirt over my head and started chanting his name, “Kiiippruusssoooooooffffff!” “Kiiipprooossso…” That’s a tough name to chant. So then I tried “Miiiiikkkkaaaaaa.” That was easier. And it was the right thing to do.
I hope he’s on suicide watch tonight. To find out why…click more.
I’m not positive, but on Friday it looked like someone slipped Mikka Kiprusoff a roofie. And he was temporarily blinded. And paralyzed from the neck down. He may have been in a coma. What I’m trying to say is that he wasn’t playing TOO good.
The Finnish Olympic team is no joke. They allowed only 4 goals TOTAL since the Olympics began (about…2 months ago?) (they could end now…that’s all I’m sayin’) But Friday between 12:00 PM and 12:13 PM, the U.S. Olympic Team scored 6 goals. After 4 goals, Mikka Kiprusoff TOOK HIMSELF OUT OF THE GAME. He skated over to the bench, walked off the ice, past the bench, and down the tunnel into the locker room. And that was halfway through the first period. What a baby, right? Who’s with me?
Finland did go on to win the bronze medal, but only because their offense was better than their defense.
The Gold Medal game is the United States against those communists north of the border at noon Pacific on Sunday. Watch it or die.
